Beating Down the Voice Inside My Head
I like control. Okay, okay, I will confess that I am mildly obsessed.
When I approach a task, I like a certain degree of certainty, with a hint of manageable risk. To be clear, I don't mind risks with foreseeable outcomes, or at the very least alternatives. This week, however, dealt a major blow to my ego/pride as I suffered from a severe case of "nice try, maybe next time." The lesson I am walking away with is not that I am horribly incapable, though I may have spouted something to that degree in the midst of my frustration, but I digress. In fact, I have come to understand -- through rather humbling circumstances -- that to fail with purpose is not to fail at all, but to be available and open to opportunity.
And what, exactly, you may be asking, is the difference between failing and failing with purpose? Let's see if I can help point you in the right direction.
When in the midst of difficulty or opposition, ask yourself these questions:
1. Is the immediate outcome death? If not, continue to question two.
2. How many people are immediately connected to this situation? Qualify your connection to each individual, then arrange them in ascending order of impact. Golden rule: never offend your mother!
3. Did you complete Item 2? Good, now tear that list up, you won't be needing it. When you find yourself in difficult circumstances, go to this website, type in "Psalm 90", and select the first return result. Please read.
4. Did you at any time during the reading sense that G-d is bigger than the world you live in? If not, I can tell you from experience that he is.
5. Now consider this final question carefully: If you had the choice, would you elect to bang your head continuously against this hardship or would you prefer to throw up your hands and let someone else help you through? If you can't say 'yes' to the second option, I pray that some day you will stop trying to be your own superhero. I did.
I'm reading a little book right now (seriously, it's very small, but the print is big ^_^) that is 6 short chapters long, filled with what it means to let G-D help me live above and beyond my struggles. Yes, it is transcendant to some degree, but that's the true value of grace -- I don't have to continue to regard myself as incapable because G-d can use us when we are broken, dejected, and tossed to the way-side. He loves us because sees our TRUE selves -- the passions, desires, talents, and needs he created as tools for helping one another -- instead of the inaccurate self-projections we construct to provide a false sense of security.
So, back the point of failing with purpose. I suppose I could tell you that failing with purpose smells more like roses than waste-water, but that would be sugar-coating the matter, and I wish to maintain a higher level of honesty with you. In fact, I wish to be so honest that I will tell you that I can still smell the dumpster from here. Sometimes I smell like the dumpster, but that's another blog. To attain meaningful failure, we must first learn that we began life as rubbish, horrid creatures that are selfish and unruly, and can therefore only improve upon life as we know it. Then, this nugget of truth in mind, we can see that there is no "good" or "bad" circumstance, only an infinite realm of opportunity. So as we face hardship and have days where it feels like the world has forgotten our names, we can turn to G-d who never sleeps, always listens, and is ready to teach, discipline, and love us through ALL circumstances.
To the little voice inside my head that keeps telling me I can't: please go home, this body is all filled up with hope!
When I approach a task, I like a certain degree of certainty, with a hint of manageable risk. To be clear, I don't mind risks with foreseeable outcomes, or at the very least alternatives. This week, however, dealt a major blow to my ego/pride as I suffered from a severe case of "nice try, maybe next time." The lesson I am walking away with is not that I am horribly incapable, though I may have spouted something to that degree in the midst of my frustration, but I digress. In fact, I have come to understand -- through rather humbling circumstances -- that to fail with purpose is not to fail at all, but to be available and open to opportunity.
And what, exactly, you may be asking, is the difference between failing and failing with purpose? Let's see if I can help point you in the right direction.
When in the midst of difficulty or opposition, ask yourself these questions:
1. Is the immediate outcome death? If not, continue to question two.
2. How many people are immediately connected to this situation? Qualify your connection to each individual, then arrange them in ascending order of impact. Golden rule: never offend your mother!
3. Did you complete Item 2? Good, now tear that list up, you won't be needing it. When you find yourself in difficult circumstances, go to this website, type in "Psalm 90", and select the first return result. Please read.
4. Did you at any time during the reading sense that G-d is bigger than the world you live in? If not, I can tell you from experience that he is.
5. Now consider this final question carefully: If you had the choice, would you elect to bang your head continuously against this hardship or would you prefer to throw up your hands and let someone else help you through? If you can't say 'yes' to the second option, I pray that some day you will stop trying to be your own superhero. I did.
I'm reading a little book right now (seriously, it's very small, but the print is big ^_^) that is 6 short chapters long, filled with what it means to let G-D help me live above and beyond my struggles. Yes, it is transcendant to some degree, but that's the true value of grace -- I don't have to continue to regard myself as incapable because G-d can use us when we are broken, dejected, and tossed to the way-side. He loves us because sees our TRUE selves -- the passions, desires, talents, and needs he created as tools for helping one another -- instead of the inaccurate self-projections we construct to provide a false sense of security.
So, back the point of failing with purpose. I suppose I could tell you that failing with purpose smells more like roses than waste-water, but that would be sugar-coating the matter, and I wish to maintain a higher level of honesty with you. In fact, I wish to be so honest that I will tell you that I can still smell the dumpster from here. Sometimes I smell like the dumpster, but that's another blog. To attain meaningful failure, we must first learn that we began life as rubbish, horrid creatures that are selfish and unruly, and can therefore only improve upon life as we know it. Then, this nugget of truth in mind, we can see that there is no "good" or "bad" circumstance, only an infinite realm of opportunity. So as we face hardship and have days where it feels like the world has forgotten our names, we can turn to G-d who never sleeps, always listens, and is ready to teach, discipline, and love us through ALL circumstances.
To the little voice inside my head that keeps telling me I can't: please go home, this body is all filled up with hope!
Amen! Thanks for the reminder of the lesson Circuits taught me.
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